I have a problem.
Well, it’s not a problem problem. I mean, in the grand Lindsay Lohan scheme of things, it’s not really a problem.
But it’s a problem.
I’m so incredibly addicted to…
I cannot pry myself away from…
Nothing can keep me from driving to…
Target.
Just saying the name makes me smile. Who needs wine or chocolate when you can have Target? And coincidentally enough, Target sells both wine and chocolate, so really, Target is all. you. need.
No excuse is too silly to get in my car and drive to Target 3 or 4 times a week.
We’re out of diapers.
We’re out of formula.
We’re out of chips.
We’re out of lightbulbs.
And don’t get me started on The Dollar Spot. More like the Hundred Dollar Spot. But you can get 100 things. 100 THINGS.
A tiny little flower pot for $1? I’ll plant something in there.
Chevron gift bags for $1? I’ll start giving gifts to people.
Mickey Mouse shaped sandwich cutters for $1? Now I can be Mother of the Year.
Target has the insane ability to make you walk away a happy customer even though you are now broke. You don’t even care.
Because we don’t have endless funds, I sometimes find myself having to make difficult choices. New nail polish for me….or dishwashing detergent? Didn’t I see a thing on Pinterest for “DIY Dishwashing Soap” using baking soda and lemon? Nail polish it is. New shirt for me…or more diapers? I’m pretty sure we have a half a pack of diapers from one size ago. Suck it in, Charlotte!
My new favorite game has become avoiding the people who work there and see me every other day. If I see a familiar red shirt heading my way, I simply duck into the nearest aisle and take a detour. Sometimes I block my face by holding up a shirt I’m looking at. I haven’t started speaking in an accent, but it may come to that.
They say people won’t get help unless they truly want it for themselves. And I don’t. I don’t want help. I have told my husband that my main criteria in searching for a place to live is my proximity to Target, and I stand firm on that. No Target? No way.
PeeWee Herman once said, “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it?” Well, I would, but it is not yet legal. Sigh. Someday.
Target, I’ll see you tomorrow. Maybe today, even…but definitely tomorrow.
One Comment
Amanda Sheppard
L M A O I can't express my love for this blog post. Not only am I laughing so hard I'm crying, but I can't agree with you more. I love it. I go to Target on my lunch break to "walk around"…..even though it takes 1/2 of my lunch break to get there….TOTALLY worth being a few minutes late back to work! I think we are sisters in another world or something? ….minus the wine thing. I HAAAAATE wine. 😉