So, I’m pregnant.
Just wanted to throw that out there.
I know that wasn’t a super special way to put it out there in the universe. Hashtag thirdkidproblems.
I just really needed to blurt that out, because I have had an intense condition of writer’s block upon learning this news. I have started half a dozen blog posts since then, but all I wanted to write was
IamhavinganotherbabyOMGIneedtotelltheworldrightthissecondbutfirstIshouldtellmyhusband.
Ok, with that in the air, I feel like I can think again.
The pee on the stick was barely dry before I began steeling myself against the reactions I would get upon the announcement of this pregnancy. I was rehearsing responses in my head, such as “Yes, I can handle it!” “Yes, we’re so excited!” “Yes, we just love chaos and never seeing the floor beneath our feet!”
Then I had to stop and check myself for a second. Why do I need to defend my family choices to anyone?
Oh, yeah. These e-cards make me feel like a loser.
So what if I’m almost 30, have 189 gray hairs, and 2 and 1/4 children? I’m still hip. Hip to the now. I can hang with young people, until about 9 p.m., and then I’m done. I prefer to walk around with Cheerios stuck to my butt.
Now, I don’t really take these memes (pronounced “meems” as my younger and cooler sister in law explained) personally. They are kind of funny.
But the more kids you have, the more people like to remove their filters when they speak to you.
From financial input (How can you afford another child?), to family planning tips (Don’t you know how this happens?) there’s no shortage of fun things to talk about in the Target checkout line.
And guess what? My filter is pretty much non-existant at this point, too, so I’ve drafted a response to have handy whenever I need it.
Dear Person Who Knows What’s Better for My Womb:
Thank you for your concern. I’m sorry it’s really worrying you that I just keep reproducing. In case you haven’t heard, it’s a thing called “World Domination by Excessive Procreation.”
It’s really none of your business if I can afford my child, or if I can handle another little one running around, or if I have enough bedrooms in my home or whatever. Also? I totally know how this happens (excessive gesturing to my baby gut and winking– lots of winking).
In your world, more children mean more stress, more dirty diapers, more sleepless nights, more crying, more money out the window, more pointy plastic toys to puncture your foot with in the middle of the night, more mess.
And you’re right. 110% absolutely.
But in my world, more children mean more cuddles, more bedtime stories, more excuses to watch Disney movies, more “I love you’s”, more first steps and first words, more tee ball games and dance classes, more soft blankets and more leggings with animals on the butt.
Sure, I wish I had a few more arms and a bigger house and more money in the bank (for lots of reasons), but right now, I am accepting things the way they are.
I’m happy. I’m excited. I’m scared to death, but that’s normal. And right now? I’m hungry, so you better get out of my way.
Thanksabunch!
The Mama
2 Comments
Katie A
Congratulations Ashley! I've heard that people also like to make comments such as "Are you trying for a boy?" If this happens, please punch them in the face 🙂
Also, "baby gut". Genius.
Amanda Sheppard
So happy for you guys, as I told you the day you posted it on Facebook. This just makes it 10x better! 😉