• the one about rubbing oil on my face

    May 20, 2015 /

    I’m bringing you something different today.

    I’ve never wanted to provide “tips and tricks” for anything because

    1. I am not an expert at all. On anything.
    2. I am not a professional at all. At anything.
    3. I am sure none of you care what I think. About anything.

    HOWever, this is my space to write about what I feel like writing about, and today, I want to write about my skin.

    I have always struggled with problematic skin. I have frequent breakouts, even at almost 31 years old. The tone is very uneven– ruddy in some spots, pale in others. The texture is unpredictable, too…soft, then rough, then oily, then dry and flaky. It’s a mess.

    Having three babies in 5 years will make your body go nuts, and all those hormones have really screwed up my skin.

    I have tried a lot of different products…from the very expensive regimes to the stuff you can find at the grocery store. I have never felt like anything touched my weird skin problems.

    As I was applying a full face of makeup a couple weeks ago (primer, concealer, foundation, powder, bronzer), I was feeling really frustrated that I felt the need to coat my face in all of these products just to cover up all my skin problems. It is nearly summer, and I want to be able to just go out without makeup and not worry about caking my face with creams and powders, only to sweat it all off and look and feel disgusting by the end of the day.

    So, I decided that since none of the products I have been using were working for me, I should go about it another way. I started researching natural skin cleansers and became really interested in an article I read about using coconut oil as a face cleanser and apple cider vinegar as a skin toner/astringent.

    Click here for the article I found at Overthrow Martha.

    I am pretty obsessed with vinegar. I love to clean with it, rinse my hair with it (try it…it’s amazing), and I LUH me some salt and vinegar chips. Wowee. I was pretty excited to try another use for it on my face.

    The coconut oil was what threw me for a loop. For reals? You want me to slather OIL on top of my skin and hope (AND PRAY) that my skin doesn’t just erupt into one, solid, grease-filled zit? It took me two days after reading the article to muster the courage to try it.

    I purchased organic, unrefined coconut oil at Target (in the cooking aisle) for about $7.00 for a large jar. I also purchased raw apple cider vinegar. The article I read stressed the importance of getting the raw vinegar (it has some sediment at the bottom and has a murky appearance) and the unrefined coconut oil. The apple cider vinegar was $4.00 for a bottle that will probably last forever.

    P.S., I later went to Aldi and found organic, unrefined coconut oil for $5.00 a jar. 

    So what compelled me to rub sweet-smelling, greasy oil all over my face and let it sit there for a minute before wiping it off with a warm wash cloth? Well, the article states that the coconut oil has a number of properties that help with clearing the skin.

    1. Antibacterial and antifungal properties (which zits are caused mostly by bacteria)
    2. Antioxidants for fine line & wrinkle reduction (not saying I have any, but…)
    3. Moisturizing
    4. The oil tricks the skin into thinking that it has enough oil already, so it slows the body’s oil production.

    I followed up with a swipe of raw apple cider vinegar all over my skin with a cotton ball. This helped to clean up any extra coconut oil that the wash cloth didn’t remove, and it made my skin feel clean and fresh. My skin does turn just slightly red immediately following the vinegar, but it is only temporary and quickly fades.

    I only do this routine once per day, typically at the end of the day when I am getting ready for bed. I also found that the coconut oil is excellent for taking off waterproof eye makeup. Just be careful about rubbing the oil in your eye– gives you that awesome vaseline-on-the-eyeball effect.

    I noticed a change in the way my skin felt within the first day. It was soft, smooth, and moisturized, but it wasn’t greasy or shiny.

    By the second day, the large blemishes I had started to develop around my hairline were drying up and barely visible.

    By the end of the first week, my skin has truly started to look different. The texture and tone are more even, my blemishes are clearing up, and I believe my pores look smaller.

    I truly could not be more happy with the results. I have never felt this way about any other kind of skincare I have used.

    I have also added an oral probiotic to my daily routine. I purchased hyperbiotics Pro-15 from Amazon because they were the highest rated and best quality. I had never taken probiotics before, but I figured it couldn’t hurt. I had been reading all kinds of great information about the benefits of probiotics, and one of those benefits is clearing up your skin! Probiotics keep good bacteria in your system, and the good bacteria helps to counteract the bad bacteria. Too much bad bacteria can cause inflammation in your skin.

    Quick Recap

    1. Scoop out about a quarter size amount of coconut oil with a spoon and put it in your hand.
    2. Rub hands gently together to warm it up.
    3. Apply to your face (face does not have to be clean first) — rub all over!
    4. Use caution around the eye area, but it can be a great mascara remover.
    5. Feel disgusting because you have oil all over your face.
    6. Let sit for about 30-60 seconds.
    7. Wet a washcloth with warm water.
    8. Place washcloth on top of face and let sit for a few seconds– allowing heat to open pores.
    9. Use washcloth to remove oil.
    10. Rinse washcloth and repeat steps 8-9 if necessary until all oil is removed.
    11. Follow up with a swipe raw apple cider vinegar all over the face.
    12. Take a probiotic for added benefit!

    If you’re like me and struggling with post-pregnancy, hormonal skin nightmares, you might consider giving the natural route a try. I would recommend that you test a small part of your skin first with the oil and the vinegar before applying to your whole face so that you can keep an eye on any kind of adverse reaction. If you find that this combo doesn’t work for you, there is a whole slew (scientific word) of blogs dedicated to cleansing with other types of oils.

    And in case any of you try to sue me if this doesn’t work for you —

    1. I have no money.
    2. I told you to test a small part of your skin first.
    3. I have no money.

    Good luck!

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  • the one about my resolutions

    December 30, 2014 /

    Ah, yes.

    The new year.

    2015 is upon us.

    And to think the world was supposed to end 3 years ago.

    I have already seen my fair share of “New Year’s Resolutions” posts on Facebook. Lose weight. Save money. Be a better this and be a better that.

    There’s always something about the start of a brand new year that inspires us all to make positive changes. I don’t have a problem with this concept. Self-reflection and self-improvement is a beautiful thing.

    However, as I was at the gym last evening, it occurred to me that my resolutions were going to be different this year.

    I’ve done the whole loseweightfitinabikiniwearasize4 resolution thing lots of times before.

    And you know what? I fail. Miserably. Every. Single. Time.

    So, this year, I am not going to try to lose weight. Nope.

    And yes, I have looked in a mirror lately, thankyouverymuch.

    I’m going to make my arms stronger so that I can lift the extremely clunky and heavy car seat carrier with ease.

    Stronger arms make for better pushes on the swing, an extra boost up onto that tree branch they are always wanting to climb, and the ability to line 54 plastic grocery bags up each arm so as to avoid an extra trip out to the car.

    Yep. I want stronger arms.

    I’m going to strengthen my legs so that I can run, skip, jump, and play with my energetic girls. So that I can stay on my feet longer without needing to plop on the couch. So that I can run out from an Underdog without getting kicked in the head. So that I can lay on my back, balance their bellies on my feet, and “fly” them into the sky like an airplane.

    Stronger legs. I’m gonna have them.

    I’m going to eat better. And by better, I don’t mean cutting out the little treats that make life livable. I’m still going to have those. But maybe not as much. I’m going to eat better because I can’t expect my children to like the good stuff if I don’t show them that I like the good stuff, too. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. I want to be an example.

    And, honestly? I kind of hate sharing my chips when they beg for some off my plate. So maybe I will cool it on the chips. And when I have some, I will give them their own so that they can learn how to enjoy salty, crunchy goodness in moderation.

    Lastly, I want to run a 1/2 marathon. I have wanted to do this for a few years now, but I just kept getting pregnant.

    Running is one of those things that you can’t possibly understand the joy of it from the outside looking in. However, I remember when I was running quite frequently (3 babies ago) the sense of accomplishment I felt. I stopped short of ever training for 13.1 mile race, but I’m going to do it this year.

    Not to lose weight, but to prove to myself that I can do it.

    And to show my girls that they can do anything they set their minds to doing.

    See? Losing weight is not my goal in any of this. If it happens, awesome! But if it doesn’t, as long as my body is doing all of these other cool new things, I am not going to mind.

    The other day, I was moping and near tears because I was disappointed in my body. My 10 week post-Shiloh belly is still soft, flabby, and now has a few unsightly stretch marks. Somehow, I made it through a 40 pound weight gain with Noelle without any stretch marks,  but yet a weight gain just shy of 20 pounds yielded a handful of those little assholes.

    So, as I was shooting down every single compliment that my husband was giving me…

    You’re beautiful.
    No, I’m not.

    You look great!
    Are you kidding?
    (along with an almost irreversible eye roll)

    I mentioned the stretch marks and said, “How on Earth could you possibly think anything about this is attractive?”

    He then said probably the sweetest thing he has ever said to me before.

    “Stretch marks? Are you kidding? When I see those, I think about how you gave me the three most beautiful girls. You’re incredible. I don’t care about stretch marks.”

    Point taken.

    It’s not about weight. It’s not about a bikini. It’s not about being a size I haven’t been since 2nd grade.

    I resolve to love the body I have…the one that grew three human beings.

    I resolve to make that body stronger and healthier.

    For them. For me.

    Enough.

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  • the one about the workout

    December 12, 2014 /

    Warning: This post is about breastfeeding. I say the word boobs in a completely unsexy way. If this isn’t your cup-o-tea, turn away now.

    Dear Expectant Mamas,

    Congratulations! You are about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. Soon, a little human will vacate your body, and you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Pregnancy is no small thing. As we all know, it has its ups and downs. Some pregnancies are smooth sailing, and others…well, you get put on bed rest and have preterm labor and get gestational diabetes (not that I’m bitter or anything).

    I feel it is my job to tell you something very important about this next phase of your life. Please read carefully, because it is advice that only an honest friend can give you.

    Mila Kunis is full of shit.

    Bet you didn’t see that coming, huh?

    For a moment, please read this crap and then come back here.

    Cliff’s Notes Version:
    Mila Kunis just had a daughter named Wyatt (?) and she was recently on the Late, Late Show. She was quoted as saying something like, “Breastfeeding is a great workout! All I do is eat a ton and the weight just falls right off!”

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

    Dead from laughter.

    I remember going to a breastfeeding class when I was pregnant with Noelle, and the nurse told all of us that breastfeeding is wonderful because you can, and I quote, “eat a steak dinner every night and still lose weight.”

    Well, imagine my disappointment when I did, in fact, eat steak dinners quite often upon the birth of my oldest and the weight did nothing but stay on my ass.

    The logic is that breastfeeding burns something like 500 calories a day, so you can essentially eat 500 extra calories and not gain weight.

    Um, thanks. Maintaining this weight isn’t my goal. I don’t want to look 9 months pregnant and not actually be 9 months pregnant.

    In case you didn’t already know, celebrities are liarfaces. Mila Kunis may very well be breastfeeding and “eating a ton,” but she most likely also has a trainer, a chef, 3 layers of Spanx, and a very restricted diet that is allowing her to slim down quickly.

    Technically, she wasn’t all wrong.

    Breastfeeding is a workout.

    I would imagine that holding a baby with one arm while you simultaneously attempt to apply makeup, eat your breakfast, return an email, change another kid’s diaper, or fold laundry with the other arm has got to burn some calories. At the least, it builds some great bicep muscles.

    Then there’s the cardio exercise of throwing a nursing cover/blanket over yourself, slipping the child underneath, lifting your shirt, flopping out the goods, and feeding your child without exposing yourself. That really gets my blood pumping.

    How about this. Try going to a step aerobics class post-baby. The added weight from those “gals” that  are due for a feeding provide nice resistance training (and a good excuse for well-placed “sweat stains”…if you know what I mean).

    Or what about when you’re feeding the child uncovered in your own home and the doorbell rings, and you can tell it’s the FedEx man with that shipment you have been waiting for but you have to sign for it and you don’t know what to do because, well, your boob is out. You can’t take too long because he will turn and leave and you need that package today so you frantically find a cover, stand up while the child is still attached, and make it to the door in time.

    Heart. Racing. Just me?

    But even though breastfeeding is a proven workout for me, the act alone isn’t melting pounds off by the day, lemme tell ya.

    Who knows? You might get lucky. You might be one of those women who enjoys this white unicorn of breastfeeding.

    We just will no longer be friends.

    With love,
    The Mama

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  • the one about giving myself permission

    August 16, 2013 /

    I’ve read a number of blog posts granting moms permission to stay in yoga pants all day. To throw your hair back in a pony tail on day 6 without a shower. To skip the workout and watch DVR instead.

    And I gotta say…I like reading those blogs. I feel better when I read that it is OK to let myself go.

    But really? I don’t feel better. I feel worse. Because I have let myself go.

    As a mama, I put my girls before myself. I think it is expected that I do that. But it doesn’t stop there. I put my husband before myself. I put my friends before myself. I put just about everything before myself with exception of my 47 inch tall laundry pile. It’s probably last on the list. But right above the laundry pile is little big ol’ me.

    What happens, though, if we give ourselves permission to put ourselves first? Not all the time. No. We can’t. It’s not realistic, and we did sign up for certain sacrifices when we decided to grow tiny humans. However, what if for just a few minutes day or week, whatever you and your family can spare, you decide to take some time for yourself?

    What if you decide that it is OK if you wear pants with buttons? And God forbid if those pants actually flatter your butt? Even if you’re not at your “dream size” or “happy weight,” what if you bought some jeans that fit you right now and made you feel amazing? I mean, Target had some on clearance for 6 bucks (not that I was at Target for the 4th time this week or anything).

    What if you stop scraping your chipped nail polish off with a credit card (just me?) and actually pull out the remover and properly remove said polish? And what if you get really ambitious and actually paint them a new color? Not gonna lie, I did that this morning…albeit locked in the bathroom, but I did it.

    What if you give yourself permission to take your children to the childcare at the gym so you can get yourself in better shape? Or what if you let your children watch a movie in the other room while you exercise at home? It’s not going to hurt them, but it will help you…which ultimately helps them. At some point, “I just had a baby…10 months ago,” had to stop being my excuse, and I had to give myself permission to just. do. something. for. myself. (and by myself, I mean my flabby ass and love handles for days.)

    True story, I bought Insanity at the beginning of the summer. I had ambitions of using it religiously and getting in the best shape of my life. Well, the fear of the program caused me to wait about 4 weeks before actually doing the fit test. After the fit test didn’t go so well, it took me another 2 weeks to actually start the first workout. The first workout went something like this:

    Minute 1: This sucks! This is too hard!
    Minute 3: I can’t do this! Where’s my water?
    Minute 6: I’m ready to quit. I hate this.
    Minute 9: Oh, Ellen’s on!

    Yep. I quit. I felt so defeated, out of shape, and horrible about myself. After thinking about it the rest of that day, I decided that Insanity wasn’t for me right now. I gave myself permission to find something else that would work for me, but I did not grant myself permission to give up on making myself look and feel better.

    So, the next day, I started Jillian Michaels’ 30 Day Shred. I have done this program before, achieved great results, and it is only 25 minutes long, which fits perfectly with my lifestyle right now. I can accept my failure of Insanity, but I cannot accept that it is OK to wear frumpy clothes and yoga pants daily just because I’m a mom. I’m only 29. I have a lot of hot years left, folks.

    These things that make us feel better…like painted nails or applying makeup or exercising or showering or cooking great meals or drinking a glass of wine or listening to music or whatever…these are important things. If we aren’t happy and healthy and feeling good, our families aren’t either.

    So, Mamas…I’ve written your permission slip. All you have to do is sign it.

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