It has been almost three months since I last updated about the house…. or about anything really. I have mentioned it before, but I struggle with writer’s block from time to time. I find that I struggle most with it when I have something really big and heavy weighing on my mind, and I really want to just confront it– address it– word vomit all over it– and then I can move on. I am trying to discern how best to move past my block this time, and if history has taught me anything, it is that I should just keep writing and see what happens.
So, the house. We are asked weekly, sometimes daily, by friends and family — “How is the house coming along?” I usually say something, “Well, it’s coming!” Or, “It’s still there!” Or, “It’s a process!” All of those things are true. The house IS coming along. The house IS still there. The house IS a process.
Back in February, when we tore down the old house and started on the new, I said, “I just want to be in by Christmas.” At the time, that was 10 months and an entire baby away from actually happening. But here we are, a couple weeks away from Thanksgiving, and that baby is almost 6 months old…and I honestly don’t know if we will be finished by Christmas. In fact, if I am being realistic, I would say there is no way we will be finished with the house by Christmas — let alone moved in.
And that is just going to have to be OK.
I’ve pictured waking up there on Christmas morning so many times in my mind that I can see it so clearly. I can smell it. I can hear it. I see the tree standing tall in the great room. I see the kids bumbling out of their new bedrooms, eager to see that Santa came. It is hard to let go of expectations, and I was leery of getting my hopes up to begin with. It felt like Christmas was so far away — but as with most things, time zooms by and here we are.
We are not failures because we missed this deadline. We will, eventually, celebrate our first Christmas in this house — this house built on dreams and love and hard work. I have a feeling next Christmas will roll around just as quickly as this one did.
It’s not to say that there hasn’t been a ton of progress since my last update. The last time I wrote about the house, we had just picked light fixtures. The whole house didn’t even have siding on it. The porch wasn’t on yet. We have come a very long way since then, and that was only a couple of months ago.
Siding is all up. Porch is built. Spray foam insulation is in. Dry wall is up. Hardwood floors have been laid. Tile is going down. HVAC is getting hooked up and electricians are coming back to install our lights. Ceilings and a few walls have been painted. The rest of the house will be painted soon. Carpet and flooring for the lower level have been ordered. Then it will be installing cabinets, hooking up appliances, hanging doors and trim — there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and I am starting to see it. It’s a tiny, faint, gentle flicker of a light, but it is there.
I struggle dearly with patience. With adjusting my expectations. With staying positive when things get difficult. I am choosing to believe that this journey we have been on with the Tree HousE has been entirely on purpose. God is teaching me how to wait. He is helping me to grow, adapt, and adjust my sails when the wind changes direction. So much of this experience has been beyond our control. Like being angry with the weather — there’s simply nothing you can do about it and getting upset changes nothing.
I want to be honest with you. This project has been a huge challenge in our marriage. When you go into something like this, you think that you and your spouse may argue about what color to paint the walls. You envision disagreements about the type of countertops you purchase. What I never imagined was how much of Luke’s free time would be consumed by monitoring the progress of the house and doing many tasks himself. Many nights each week, Luke is out at the house from just after dinner until he finds me asleep on the couch waiting for him to return. Many weekends are spent with him out there and me at home with the kids. We don’t have date nights anymore, and on the off-chance that we get a couple of hours to go out together, a trip to Lowe’s or Menard’s is always included. With Luke assuming the role of general contractor, he is required to be accessible by so many people, and unfortunately, it feels like his family has the least access to him of all. I don’t write this to make anyone feel sorry for me. I don’t write this to make him feel or look bad. I am simply stating a reality of this house project that we simply did not foresee. In our 10 years of marriage, we haven’t really faced too many daunting challenges. We’ve had ups and downs. We’ve bought houses and sold houses and moved a few times. We’ve done the “live off of a teacher’s salary” thing and the “study a million hours a week” thing. We’ve had four beautiful children and lost two pregnancies. But nothing has tried to drive us to insanity the way that this house has. He misses going for runs after work or playing basketball at church with his friends. I miss having conversations that don’t involve the words “square footage” or “budget” or “estimate.” We have had to reach for ways to connect amidst a nearly impossible amount of distractions, tasks, and to-dos, but at the center of it all is a united dream of us sitting on our new couch in our new house, him drinking coffee and me drinking wine, looking out our new windows at our old woods, together.
Thanks for going on this journey with us. Here are some updated photos:
