The one about the final countdown

We are on the final countdown before our new baby girl arrives. In just a couple short weeks, everything will be so different around here. 

We’ve done this before. We’ve welcomed home four babies already — navigating that delicate shift from “Baby of the Family” to “Big Sister.”

And now it’s Big Brother’s turn.

For the past two and a half years, we have enjoyed our time with Leo as the youngest child. He has been the most wonderful little guy. 

I, especially, have had the pleasure of spending lots of quality time with Leo over the past couple of years. Leo is the first child of ours who hasn’t experienced me working outside the home in any capacity. This has created a lot of opportunities for us to be together — and even though I occasionally miss and long for a “purpose” other than motherhood, I know that this time I have spent with him has been invaluable and good for both of our souls.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little anxious about how Leo will adapt to a new baby in the family. When I hold other people’s babies, he isn’t a huge fan, so it will be interesting to see if he has the same reaction when his baby sister is born. 

Over the past few weeks, I have been really trying to soak him up… to drink him in… to observe his features and mannerisms… to record the sound of his voice in my mind. I know that once the new baby arrives, the time will pass in a blur. Days and nights will mesh together, fatigue and hormones will create a messy mix of emotions, and I will likely have to transfer the care of the older kids to their dad and any other willing helpers. 

Still, Leo will need me…and still, I will be there… but still, it will be different.

It’s an odd feeling — this feeling of overwhelming excitement as we prepare to bring new life into this world mixed with this feeling of overwhelming sadness that things will never again be the same. 

So for now, I am doing my best to appreciate the small moments with Leo. The way he wants to “duggle” (snuggle) in my bed. The way he wants to share his food with me by forcefully shoving bites in my mouth. The way he says “thank you, Mama” and “I love you, Mama” unprompted. 

The way he enjoys looking out his bedroom window at all the nature outside. The way he insists on wearing his underwear over the top of his diaper. The way his toenails are always dirty, no matter how many times he takes bath. The way he can’t go anywhere or do anything without his paci and his bunny. 

Leo, it’s been a true gift to spend nearly every one of your days with you since you were born…giving you so much of my undivided attention and love. As we prepare to welcome your baby sister to our family, please know that my mother’s love for my children can never be divided, only multiplied.