• the one about vacations

    I didn’t write about anything worth anything the entire month of February.

    Let me tell you a little about my mind.

    Like my house, like my vehicle, like my desk, like my email…it gets cluttered sometimes all the time. When I have too much going on, too many thoughts in my head, I picture my brain as a malfunctioning robot…lots of flashing lights and smoke and repetitive phrases like “Cannot compute. Cannot process. Cannot compute. Cannot process.” And some beeping. Lots of beeping.

    When this happens, I shut down. Well, I shut down as much as my life allows me to actually shut down. I can’t completely shut down or else my family will starve and my children will most likely wear the same outfit for days on end and my husband will actually succeed in wearing royal blue pants with an orange shirt to work. Yes, he has royal blue pants…and he wears them as much as he possibly can.

    So, my version of shutting down is dealing strictly with what I absolutely have to for as long as I feel necessary. I feed my family. I clean what I must. I get to what I can. But the extra stuff is pushed aside until I can manage it all again.

    It sounds like I need a vacation, right? Well the ironic thing is that one of my biggest stressors the entire month of February was our impending adults-only vacation to Mexico.

    I know…feel sorry for me. 

    But really.

    When parents decide to take a no-kids vacation, the clouds part, angels sing, and grown adults prance around happily like merry unicorns. Oh, just me?

    But then…it hits you. The absolute insane amount of preparation involved when leaving your children with other people.

    I began making my “To Do” lists weeks prior to our trip.

    The shopping list… for groceries, diapers & wipes, and a few small toys for the girls to look forward to while we were gone. Plus all the essentials for us…like flip flops and SPF 450.

    The cleaning list…which basically said, “Clean everything,” because my family would be staying in our home watching our children.

    The “Oh shit, I’m still breastfeeding” list…included trying to find time to pump once or twice per day to start stockpiling milk, researching breast milk and pump guidelines for airlines, and guesstimating how many absorbent breast pads I would need to bring with me for the trip (answer? a gazillion).

    Lining up childcare, preparing freezer meals ahead of time for dinners, compiling flight and contact information…all had to be done.

    We even thought we would be cute and record videos of us reading 5 different bedtime stories for the girls to watch in case they missed us at night.

    And then of course I was certain we were going to die on this trip and orphan our children, so we also bought more life insurance and I made a poor man’s will which was basically a note left open on my computer desktop for anyone to see that read something like this…

    If we die, these people, ________________, will take care of our kids. All of our possessions are up for grabs. Have fun with that.

    See? All the work.

    Once the preparations were complete and we were on our way, the irrational thoughts began (because being certain of our death wasn’t irrational at all).

    Like… What if they drown the pool we don’t have?

    And… Sometimes not at all we have trouble with bears trying to break in and steal food.

    I had even more irrational thoughts that I am too embarrassed to list, if you can imagine.

    The irony is that the more children you have, the more you really need to enjoy a child-free vacation every now and then. For your sanity. And your marriage. But then, the child-free vacation is so much work and worry that it’s almost more exhausting to prepare for the vacation than it is to just keep trudging through the trenches of parenthood.

    Face. Palm.

    So I tortured myself with the planning and prep work. I tortured myself with the worry and anxiety. And as it turned out, on the second day of the vacation, we found out that Shiloh had RSV and was pretty sick.

    Crap. I thought of a bear attack, but not RSV.

    My all-inclusive resort buzz was officially killed with that news, and at that point I was just ready to get home. I was ready to be needed and pulled, pooped, and puked on. All the things I couldn’t wait to get a break from were calling me back and I couldn’t get there soon enough.

    Kids. Sigh.

    So does my mind feel clearer? Maybe a little. Mostly not really.

    Was it fun while it lasted? Yes.

    Have I even fully unpacked our suitcases? No.

    But I’m thinking of leaving them that way so it’s one less thing I have to do for the next vacation.

  • the one about stitch fix, round two

    A few weeks ago, I wrote a review on my first Stitch Fix experience. I was very excited to schedule my second fix because I enjoyed the experience so much the first time around, and I wanted to see how the stylist used my feedback on the items I received to change her selections for me.

    I am happy to say that my second “fix” was even better than the first, and I ended up with the magical white unicorn I was seeking…the perfect pair of jeans!

    When I opened the box and glanced at my style cards, I knew I was going to be happy.

    (excuse the horrible photo; bad lighting + Instagram filter)

    I tried to take pictures of myself. It was a bad idea.

    The first item I pulled out was the brown Jaclynn 3/4 sSleeve Button-Up Cardigan. Honestly, I set this aside because I knew I most likely wasn’t going to keep it. Well, I would keep it only if it either a) made me look 35 pounds thinner or b) had the winning Powerball numbers inscribed on the tag. Sure, it was a nice, soft sweater, but I prefer my cardigans to be a little longer and less expensive. I did eventually try it on, and my suspicions were correct. It did not make me look 35 pounds lighter or reveal the winning lottery numbers…so into the return mailer it went.

    I wasn’t discouraged, however, because next up was the softest pair of jeans I have ever touched. I was in love, instantly, with the Just Black Adorra Ankle Length Skinny Jeans. From the color, which is a very, very dark denim, to the style (skinny bootcut), to the fabric (soft and slightly stretchy), I knew I was keeping these jeans. I was very excited when I pulled them on and they fit! They are very flattering, and I know that they will look great dressed up or dressed down. I really wish I could describe the feel of the denim, because it is truly unlike any other. I could tell my stylist really considered my feedback on the last pair of jeans they sent me, because these jeans are the polar opposite. I asked for no distressing or fading and a little stretch…and that’s what I received. Fist bump.

    I then pulled out this beautiful C.Luce Kailani Sleeveless Pleated Chiffon Dress. I was excited about this because I really enjoy this emerald color, and the fabric was flowy and elegant. However, when I tried it on, it was ill-fitting and made me look just a shade pregnant. And that’s not the look I’m going for. I have already been asked, in public, if I was pregnant when I was, in fact, not pregnant, and I don’t wish to relive that anytime soon. So, unfortunately, I said goodbye to the pretty green dress.

    Thankfully, there was a second dress in the bunch that was a winner, the Renee C Gael 3/4 Sleeve Drawstring Waisted Dress. I specifically asked for a dress I could wear to Mexico, and this dress will do the trick. It is a lightweight, chiffon-like fabric in a great navy color. The stylist took into consideration my transitioning body and pointed out that the draw string at the waist would be flattering as the pounds come off hopefullydearGodtheybetter. I think this dress can be worn very casually with sandals or flats, or it can be dressed up with the right jewelry and shoes. I think it is also a contender for Shiloh’s baptism. This is a keeper!

    Lastly, I picked up this deep pink Papermoon Preston Button Front Blouse. It is a soft, airy weight that has sweet gold buttons all the way down the front. This shirt is really perfect for me because it is relaxed without being frumpy, flowy without being “tent-ish,” and a vibrant color that will work for Spring and Summer. It also is breastfeeding-friendly, thanks to the buttons. I requested that my stylist consider tops that would be easy for nursing, and this one will do the trick.

    So, out of all five items, three of them already have the tags ripped off, and I wore the jeans for the rest of the day. I was very pleased with this fix and how the stylist referenced my Pinterest style board and my feedback in her note to me. I could tell that she tried to find things that were on my wish list, but again were things that I might not consider if I was shopping alone. I typically shy away from dresses with a drawstring waist because I really have no contoured waist, but what I found was that this style was very flattering and actually gave the appearance of an actual waistline.

    The sweater that I purchased from my last fix is one that I absolutely live in. Like…I sleep in it sometimes. It is so soft and stretchy, perfect for nursing, great with yoga pants or jeans, awesome for lounging or wearing it out in public. It has washed up well, and I can tell I will be wearing it for a long time. I am so happy that I made that purchase.

    Since I did spend a decent chunk of change on this round, I am going to pace myself. I’m going to schedule a fix for late April so that I can get some great new pieces for Summer. I basically lived in maternity tanks and underwear last year, and I don’t think I can get away with that this time (but you never know).

    If you would like to give Stitch Fix a try, click on my referral link to get started! This will earn me $25 in credit, and it will get you a really fun and personal shopping experience.

    https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/3404713